Over a year post-partum, and I’m beginning to feel some semblance of humanity returning to me. My Daughter is amazing and wondrous to watch. I can’t believe how much she’s grown over the past year. She’s a happy child and loves to explore. I’m looking forward to seeing what the next year brings us! Sleep continues to be difficult, although my Daughter sleeps great (until we hit the next sleep regression). Overall, I carry so much tension in my shoulders, neck, and jaw that I started going to physical therapy to strengthen those areas. My shoulders are practically up to my ears! I’ve gotta get them down.

2025 was a difficult roller coaster of a year. Dark political clouds loomed over everything, family health issues, and our finances with everything becoming enormously expensive. I wonder almost every day what will happen to the future of my daughter’s education and choices, and what will happen to our planet. Normally, we receive snow in October and November in Colorado. We’ve only had one snowfall this season in December and this feels dangerously similar to the conditions of the Marshall Fires that happened in 2021. Every time I see a Red Flag Warning on my phone or see the weather forecasting 60-degree weather for the next two weeks…my chest tightens, and my heart beats faster.

Anxiety. Panic.

I decided to pack a couple of go-bags for us because I’d rather be prepared and have to put things back than have to leave sentimental items behind. I’m not finished packing, but I included:

Not everything is doom and gloom. I recently watched the new hit movie, KPop Demon Hunters, and was blown away. It is a beautiful film with themes of generational healing and overcoming personal demons (literally and figuratively), and of course, it has an absolute banger soundtrack, especially the main song, Golden. It’s uplifting and healing. I’ve been thinking of working harder on my photography and my writing, really utilizing my creative energy instead of hiding it behind a tech desk job. There are plenty of obstacles there, but the motivation is a good foundation. “No more hiding, I’ll be shining like I’m born to be.” No matter what happens, I have another year to push forward and make things better. Here’s praying for snow and rain in Colorado.

The Road So Far

Winter

January started off with a new job, going back to work at the office a couple of days a week. I took a big pay cut and title cut, but at least we have medical benefits, and I work with great people. Always a bonus. But it was depressing to leave my Daughter at home. Women really deserve to be at home for a FULL YEAR post-partum. As I said in the beginning of this post, I’m JUST NOW starting to feel functionally human. The brain fog alone made working difficult.

My birthday came and went, as well as Eric’s. We played board games with friends and enjoyed family time. Luckily, work has evolved to being fully remote.

We started swim lessons for my Daughter in March. She’s been doing them for almost a year now and getting stronger in the water every time! She loves the water so much, which is fitting for her name. I imagine we’ll be doing a Mermaid theme birthday at some point. I’m looking forward to taking her to the beach as soon as possible.

Spring

Our flowers were gorgeous this year. We held our annual Derby Party and had a blast! My Daughter was dressed in the cutest little outfit, despite the heat. My best friend, Katheryn, came to visit from Kansas City. She was pregnant with her own baby girl. I hope we can share many more parties together in the future.

After the Derby, it was my second Mother’s Day, but the first one with baby girl out in the world.

My Daughter and I traveled to Cleveland to visit my other BF, Jessica, and her 3-month-old son. I had a lot of anxiety leading up to traveling on an airplane by myself. Eric had to work. It went as smoothly as possible, my Daughter slept most of the time, and the kind people sitting next to me helped with bags and chatted with us. From what I understand, once babies are walking, that’s when it’s more of a nightmare to travel since they don’t want to be stuck in their seat (most adults hate it too, kids). It was wonderful to see my friend and hang out for a lovely weekend in Ohio. We went to the park, walked around the neighborhood, went out to dinner, and saw Lake Erie.

Summer

Our speedboat has been stored for the last two years due to my pregnancy and, before that, other life plans. This summer was going to be GREAT with taking our Daughter on her inaugural boating trip. We managed to go out…twice. The weather was crap this summer for boating. Our first time out was 95 degrees outside, and the second time out, it was cloudy and cold. We can’t win against Mother Nature 😩! Our third trip with the boat had to be canceled due to a week of thunderstorms (where is that rain now??). We had family in town that week and were supposed to go camping at Horsetooth Reservoir. I had booked cabins and everything. Didn’t happen.

We had to make the most of family time, and the week I took off of work, so we went to the recreation center pool for an afternoon, the Denver Art Museum, and Old Town Arvada.

Katheryn’s baby shower was in June which prompted a weekend visit to Kansas City! Loved celebrating with her. Her baby girl came in July, and they’ve both been doing great ever since. I can’t believe she’s almost 6 months old now. Whew.

Autumn back into Winter

Autumn kicked off birthday season in our household. We had my MIL’s birthday and a trip to the pumpkin patch.

My Daughter’s first birthday was a marathon weekend. My brother, SIL, Eric’s brother came into town. With my SIL’s help, I put up my balloon arch for the perfect photo backdrop. I loved decorating for Halloween, and I’m proud of how the house looked. My friend and photographer Valerie Rae Escanilla came over and took family photos for us. This was especially meaningful to me because of our family health issues over the course of the year. These photos are so precious. Thank you, my friend.

We went out to Casa Bonita for lunch. I loved how they kept the original interior of the building and cleaned it up. I want to go back soon. Then we drove up to Georgetown for the train ride there. It books up months in advance, and it was a hectic day with the fall colors in peak form. We wrapped the weekend with a birthday party for my Daughter that we invited our friends to. The look on her face when we sang Happy Birthday was magical.

Eric and I went out to the Brown Palace for our 4th and 9th anniversary. I wore my wedding dress again. I can’t believe it actually fit. And it was a TIGHT squeeze. I felt like Elizabeth Swann in Pirates of the Caribbean. But there it is! We went out and enjoyed a romantic evening.

For the Winter Solstice, we lit our Yule Altar and prayed for the new year to be better. Let the light return in our hearts.

What Else?

Current favorite shows are Slow Horses on Apple TV+, Wednesday and Dr. Storks on Netflix, and the Colorado Experience on PBS. In the background I continue my repetitive Midsommer Murders show.

At the end of November, a friend of a friend reached out to me about displaying some of my photographs at a local Kava coffee bar in Denver. I was so excited! I haven’t done a gallery display since graduating from university. I paid for new, fresh prints, bought frames, and additional matting. And then guess what? She canceled on me. She said maybe something for January? I don’t want to pin my hopes on that. I spent about $1200 on materials for probably nothing.

Well, screw that. I have 24 framed prints that I would love to show off. I applied to the Arvada Center and the City of Lakewood. I would love to do a First Fridays-type event. I’m going to try to apply for other shows and galleries. I’m just not sure what I should do or where I should look that is within my means. More to come.

“My voice without the lies, this is what it sounds like,
Fearless and undefined, this is what it sounds like.
Truth after all this time, our voices all combined.
When darkness meets the light, this is what it sounds like.”

What it sounds like – HUNTR/X

“I would have lived in peace. But my enemies brought me war.”

Red Rising – Pierce Brown

What I’ve Been Writing

Now that I’m 15 months post-partum, I feel like the fog is lifting a bit from my head. While I haven’t written anything new this year, I think that once my daughter reaches 2 years, I’ll have more capacity and time. Ha. In the meantime, my goal for 2026 is to use the feedback I receive my writer’s critique group and edit the draft I have of the Red String of Fate.

Favorite Reads

This year, I surpassed my reading challenge. What a pleasant surprise! I think the reason I was able to achieve my goal is that I chose short, children’s books instead of adult books 😂 With a few exceptions, this was the year of American Girl stories. I read through Addy, Kaya, Nanea, Josephina, and started to reread Samantha. I love the historical context of each of the girls and learning about how previous generations lived, their struggles, and how they relied on family, friends, and determination to live their lives to the fullest.

Next

It would be great to get through 2026 without being laid off from my job. Unfortunately, that’s not in my control…so for what is achievable (provided I have work), I am working towards paying off two of my credit card debts by August. In July, we’re planning a big family trip to visit my Abuela for her 100th birthday! It’s going to be a wonderful trip. And in October, my daughter’s second birthday will arrive as well as my 10-year anniversary with Eric. I have many things to look forward to in the next year. I hope you do as well, reader.

Stay strong. Try and break the cycle of fear/rage news and take time for self-care. Do what you can to actively participate in the fight for your rights. CALL your representatives. If you’re shy, call after 5pm and leave a message. They still count those calls! Donate to causes that you care about. For me, it’s all about climate change and preserving women’s-rights. $2 here and there. There are organized marches as well. Whatever it takes. Don’t just sit back and yell at the TV/phone/computer/whatever. #NOKINGS

Take Action

• Chop Wood, Carry Water
• Indivisble

Donate

• National Parks
• Arbor Day Foundation
• S.O.U.L
• Planned Parenthood