It’s a serendipitous moment when the universe brings together recurring themes. Similar to a recurring dream that you have, I believe that there is a higher purpose and meaning being served when ideas, books, movies, places, and people all resonate together. While the world seems divisive and hostile, there is beauty and kindness in every single day. Two weeks ago, I set down a book called “Jitterbug Perfume” by Tom Robbins. For those of you who have read Tom Robbins, you know. If you haven’t read Tom Robbins, you should know. I don’t usually review books since there are many people out there that do. What I will say is that the convergence of my read of “Jitterbug Perfume,” listening to Kesha’s new single “Eat the Acid,” and then subsequently picking up James Nestor’s “Breath” seems like fate. Hitsuzen (必然) if you will. It changed me.

In “Jitterbug Perfume”, we meet a group of people throughout history until the modern day that are all endeavoring to create the perfect perfume for the Greek god, Pan. Along the way, we learn about immortality and what it is to live and love, to be human. Specifically, there is a theme of breath throughout the book. The breath is connected to our noses, our sense of smell which connects us to perfume, but also nature itself. It is mentioned in the book that if people breathe properly (among other things) that they will live forever. They will achieve immortality. Tom Robbins published this book in 1984. Fast-forward to 2020, James Nestor publishes “Breath,” which talks about the same thing. That the breath is divine, connecting us to the world, and that the way we breathe is what induces longevity. Is it a coincidence that I picked it up after “Jitterbug Perfume”? I think not. The universe had something to say to me.

“A last word on slow breathing. It goes by another name: prayer. When Buddhist monks chant their most popular mantra, Om Mani Padme Hum, each spoken phrase lasts six seconds, with six seconds to inhale before the chant starts again. The traditional chant of Om, the “sacred sound of the universe” used in Jainism and other traditions, takes six seconds to sing, with a pause of about six seconds to inhale.”

Breath – James Nestor

Sometimes I listen to music while reading. While smell is the sense that is most connected to memory, certain songs achieve a similar effect for me to help me recall books I’ve read. As I concluded the final chapters of “Jitterbug Perfume,” I played Kesha’s new song “Eat the Acid.” It fit very well with the theme of the book and drove home how wonderful it all was. How everything is connected. Psychedelics have a wonderful ability to bring you close to the veil, the divine, the earth, and yourself. When you take a psychedelic drug, you are changed. The way you experience life is different, the way you view past traumas is different, and they open up the well of self-love. And ultimately, it’s all about love. Loving yourself, the people around you, the collective consciousness, everything. Be connected.

Hate has no place in the divine.

Eat the Acid – Kesha

The Road So Far

The first event of note in April was that we landscaped our yard. We wanted better grass and to regrade the foundation. And we could not have picked a better year to do so with all the rain we’ve received this spring! We planted a bunch of new flowers and two holly bushes, a Blue Prince and Princess variety, which I have decided to name Prince Rainer III and Princess Grace Kelly. The last (major) thing we intend to do is install a patio beneath our back deck so that there is no longer exposed dirt for Tsuki to run around in and get muddy. The landscapers are due back next week on the 5th and will hopefully only take a few days of work!

The real reason we paid for landscaping this year instead of waiting for our wallets to recover from the wedding and vacations, is the mud. Our house has horrible, thin, hotel-like carpet, and I hate it. It has no sound absorption and doesn’t feel comfortable to walk on. Not to mention the previous owners chose different carpets per room and did a poor job installing them as you can see gaps in the seams. Ugh. So I want new carpet, and we were not going to spend money on that with a puppy tracking mud into the house! Hoping for new carpet next year, but we’ll see how all the expenses of this year play out. By April next year, I plan to have all of my wedding, honeymoon, landscaping, and vacation debt paid off thanks to 0% interest credit card offers. But things keep coming up as they are want to do…

At the end of April, we made a trip to Indianapolis for my brother’s wedding! Congratulations to the happy couple! I’m so happy to have a cool sister-in-law that puts up with my brother and loves him very much. Ha. The ceremony was lovely and the reception was a blast! My dad and I danced our butts off! We had watched the new Wednesday show on Netflix prior to the trip and tried our best to replicate the “Wednesday Dance.” I plan to get that choreographed, Dad!

Coinciding with the wedding, was my Mom’s 70th birthday. We had a quiet celebration at a nice Italian restaurant in Indianapolis and the following day we went to the Children’s Museum which is awesome and I would have loved to go there as a kid, but still enjoyed it as an adult. Happy birthday mama! I love you.

And at the beginning of May, we threw our third annual Kentucky Derby Party! We had a great time with our friends, two of which visited from out of town. The weather was perfect and we enjoyed our new grass.

The first week in June brought us to Vail, CO, a high-end ski resort town in the mountains, to celebrate the wedding of Eric’s cousin Andrea and Luke. It was a beautiful spring wedding. I grew up Catholic until my family moved from Virginia to Illinois and stopped attending church there. Andrea and Luke are both Catholic and had their wedding in a chapel officiated by a priest. I had a hard time following along since apparently things have changed in the last two decades of my absence in church. I learned that instead of replying with “and also with you” when the priest says “peace be with you” they (the catholic church) has decided to switch that to “and with your spirit.” Ha ha. I can’t describe the bewilderment I felt, but comedian John Mulaney does a damn good job of it in his special from 2015 (which also shows how often I keep up with comedy). Apart from the wedding, I enjoyed window shopping for art and clothing, all of which were sadly unaffordable at my level of taste.

Right after returning home from the wedding, we had our friends Matt, Erica, and Freya visit along with Erica’s mom, Denise, as a traveling baby-sitter. For those of you that don’t know Erica was one of my bridesmaids and Freya was one of my flower girls. I love them all and was thrilled to see them again after seven months. Although they spent a lot of time at Red Rocks Amphitheater and catching up with other friends, Erica and I did go out for a wild happy hour with another friend of ours, Tonia. We had dinner at a restaurant in Denver called, Angelos. I’ve only been there once before in the 10 years I’ve lived in Denver. Tonia loves their happy hour, but I have to say the food was underwhelming. Think dry overcooked marinara sauce. Cue to Tonia buying us three rounds of shots. Yes, shots of limoncello.

At 33 years old, I can no longer “throw back” alcohol, although I was barely competent at it in my 20s. But when you’re in the moment, who’s going to say no to a celebratory shot? I certainly didn’t. And I regret it. Not only did I have one shot after two glasses of wine with my mediocre dinner, but I partook in a second shot. By the time Erica and Tonia got to their third, I was headed for the bathroom to…you guessed it: puke my guts out.

I am beyond mortified. While I’ve been plenty drunk and hungover and have had the spins in the last eight years, I have not vomited like that since my 25th birthday where my other bridesmaid, Jessica, carried me up the stair to my apartment and lovingly tuck my into bed.

Thank you to Erica for being that wonderful friend, holding my hair back, helping me to the car, and getting us home safely! I will definitely not be showing my face at Angelos for a long time. 😳

“The highest function of love is that it makes the loved one a unique and irreplaceable being.”

Jitterbug Perfume – Tom Robbins

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What Else?

I changed my name. Borak has now become a second, middle name for me. I told Eric that all of my art and future book publications will be under Borak. It’s an identity that I’ve had for the first 33 years of my life and that doesn’t change easily. I also want to honor my Dad and the name that he gave me, especially since I’m his only child to carry on the family name.

That being said, I’m happy to share the same name as my husband! In my circle of millennial friends, it’s not common to change names with marriage any more. I’m sure it’s even less so with younger generations. But I’m traditional, always have been, and so I changed it.

It wasn’t hard, more time-consuming. I purchased NewlyNamed which did all the research for me of where to start and what to do in the state of Colorado. It was $40 and probably worth about half of that, but I’m glad I spent the money since it saved me a little time (but not much!). I had to start with the Social Security Administration and from there go to the Department of Motor Vehicles for my new driver’s license. In May, I sent off my old passport to get it updated. I think it’s roughly 12 weeks to receive a new one? If I don’t have it back by August, I will be concerned.

Back in early May, Eric and I sold his old car and bought a brand new 2023 Honda Accord. We waited one month for it to deliver in June. It’s thrilling to buy our first brand-new car! It’s a perfect car for us, although Eric would like an SUV in the future. It has all the nice bells and whistles, leather interior, heated seats, fancy touch screen, etc. But most importantly it is a hybrid that gets about 48-50 mpg. All in all, we’re excited! My 2005 Honda Accord was brand new for my mom, but used for me. We’ve been mainly driving that car instead of the new one due to the inclement, stormy weather we’ve had through the whole month of June here in Colorado. The last thing we want is hail damage right off the bat.

We have almost finalized our upcoming trip to Germany & Switzerland for this fall. We have the flight and hotels booked and we need to reserve a rental car in Germany. We’re making this trip as a celebration of Eric’s parent’s 50th wedding anniversary! As such, it will mostly be a family road-trip through southern Germany with them as well as Eric’s brother. We’ll spend four days in Switzerland at the end of it and I’ll get to see one of my favorite orchestras perform live in Zurich: Two Steps from Hell!!! They’re a bucket list item and they currently have no foreseeable plans to tour in America so “when in Rome”.

Not only have we been planning for Germany & Switzerland, but back in 2020 we had plans to travel to Japan. Fast-forward to rescheduling our crushed, covid-era dream, I’ve booked our hotels for March/April 2024 in Japan. It will be my third trip to Japan and ten years since the last time I’ve visited. It will be Eric’s first time (no, the Tokyo Airport does not count!). I’ve been brushing up on my elementary-level Japanese and teaching Eric basic phrases too! All that’s left is to book our flights, reserve our JR pass, and possibly try to reserve a time at the Ghibli museum if we can. Jya, ittekimasu (じゃ, 行ってきます)!

Intermittent of my vacation planning and day job I’ve had a little time to paint, remodel my front bathroom, and fold origami paper cranes for an art project I’ve been wanting to do for years.

What I’ve Been Writing

Along with my own name change, I’ve given my main character an updated name as well. Instead of Rei my character is now, Rae, short for Raeliana. I credit the name to a new Korean anime/ manhwa that I’ve been enjoying called: “Why Raeliana Ended up at the Duke’s Mansion“. I love the name and I think the spelling is a bit more fitting for a character of Slavic ethnicity.

Up until four days ago, I’ve been in a writing rut. Not necessarily writers block, but I haven’t been motivated or inspired to write.

Four days ago, I sat myself down to watch some Anime Music Videos (AMVs) which never fail to ignite my inspiration for dramatic, save-the-world story telling. I forced myself to sit down and re-read my story from the beginning which helped me get back into the grove of where I left off. And I’m so glad I did because now I’m on fire! I’ve written over 2000 words, which doesn’t seem like a lot, but after not writing anything for so long, it’s a major accomplishment. Also factoring in the fact that I haven’t been straight up writing, but continuing to revise some of the chapters I’ve already written to alter the character perspective. I have a better idea of the direction my story is going to go and a better understanding of the personality of my characters. I’m still trying to find their voice, but that will come easier with the next draft. Right now the only goal is to get it down on paper. It doesn’t have to be pretty. It just has to be done. I’m at 40,000 words and counting!

I remain indecisive on the theme of my book whether it will be a dark fairy tale or a happy ending. I’ll decide once I get there.

No, I haven’t reviewed any last minute query options for The Tower. Someday I will be looking at the publishing links my Dad sent me last year… 😅

Three Favorite Reads

Next

Write on. Fight on. Finish the book by Summer’s end.

“Hold on to your divine blush, your innate rosy magic, or end up brown. Once you’re brown, you’ll find out you’re blue. As blue as indigo. And you know what that means. Indigo. Indigoing. Indigone.”

Jitterbug Perfume – Tom Robbins